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Although it wasn't academically challenging, I learned a lot from my job at Burger King.In fact, the job had rewards similar to several other jobs I have had during high school.
All those clichés will quickly make the reader uninterested in the brother.
Who others fail, he is not one to make a mountain out of a molehill.
To make a long story short, throughout high school I have tried to emulate my brother, and I credit him with many of my own successes.
I have to admit that theater did not come naturally to me, and I remember that I felt remarkably self-conscious and nervous the first few times I set foot on the stage.
The first time I was on stage was in the eighth grade when my best friend talked me into auditioning for our school's performance of the play In this passage, four phrases can be pared back or cut entirely.